Gillian Ibarra '24 | University of Portland

Gillian Ibarra '24

gillian-ibarra.jpgMajor: Organizational Communications and Spanish

What was it like being among the first in your family to go to college?

It has been a blessing and a curse to be the first person in my family to attend a four-year university. I say that because I worked hard to get to where I am, I am grateful for all the support I have received from my extended family (and immediate), and I don't know where I would be without finding myself outside of my hometown. I also claim that it is a curse because I have a lot of weight to carry in representing my family as the one who is educated. I am looked up to the most to succeed and that adds a lot of pressure, at times crippling my mental health. However, I will never forget the very first meeting with my FGEN mentor where I just wanted to cry from the stress. She was so kind, open, and willing to listen that she was the safe space in my head. She would always reassure me that my feelings were valid, normal, and easier said than done, can be overcome. I have never lost sight of what it means to get an education despite an emotional burden and I will always be grateful to the FGEN community and her for that.

What does it mean for your personally to be a part of the FGEN community and, specifically, to be a FGEN student ambassador?

Being a part of the FGEN community means being a support system for me. I have never really had anyone, except for my aunts, go through the struggle of striving for higher education without the support of their family. To me, the FGEN community is a family where I can be my aunt to others. To be a guide to those who are also struggling as we all continue to grow together. It's quite frankly a family where everyone looks out for one another so that we can reach our full potential. Being an FGEN ambassador means being that imperfect role model that other first-generation students can relate to more than a movie about how 'fun, easy, and surreal' it is to be in college, like in the movies. To be an FGEN ambassador is to share my own experiences to help others learn and also listen to others for me to learn. To me, it ultimately means to grow in every direction, every possible way, and to do it with a passionate, heavy, and loving attitude to pay it forward.

What is your advice to FGEN students at UP who are facing challenges?

My biggest piece of advice to first-gen students at UP is to just breathe. There have been several times when I felt like I was suffocating, but it was all my own doing. Take time to reflect, relax, and take care of yourselves before school when you need to. We are all so young, smart, and prepared for life (and college life) that there is only a need to think of one thing, one day at a time. Time may not be our friend, but if we use it correctly to analyze our current situations we can achieve what you put our minds to. It also feels like the end of the world, but in reality, it's your perspective that alters one's perception. Think of how far you have come NOT how much you have to go.

Did a mentor play a role in your experience?

My mentor played a major role in my experience! Having my first semester online it was hard to make strong connections and even friends. It was nice to have someone to relate to on a biweekly basis because it allowed me to understand that sometimes you need to step away than beat a dead horse. She was genuinely my lifesaver. I wouldn't be able to say I am a successful student without the academic and self-care advice I LIVE BY NOW. I guess you could say she was my first friend at school. It will always play a significant role throughout my years in college because she was the only one who understood me at the time. Now that I am a part of the bigger organization I myself have gained collogues who also understand what it means to be FGEN.

What resources have been significant, meaningful or helpful for you so far during your UP experience?

The writing center has been super helpful for me these past two semesters because not having any experience writing in a college setting was intimidating at first. It has helped me become more confident in my writing abilities as well as my own resilience to be able to survive three more years of dense papers. The writing center has helped me with every assignment I have had this semester and it is the best tool/resource, in my opinion, at school.