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Group Living and Cultivating Generosity with Lola Milholland

November 25, 2025

Lola Milholland reads from her book in front of a crowd at University of Portland bookstore.
Photo: Ryan Reynolds/The Beacon

 

Have you ever wondered how you can be more generous without spending a ton of money? Or maybe you’re trying to navigate how you can give more to your community without feeling depleted? In her book Group Living and Other Recipes, author Lola Milholland shares her lessons in creating sustainable relationships, and she brought those lessons to the University of Portland campus on November 4th.

Professors Molly Hiro and Jen McDaneld invited Milholland to talk to the UP community through their Public Research Fellows program, which is funded by a grant from the Mellon Foundation. Her presentation explored the benefits of group living, encouraged interpersonal generosity, and offered deep insight into the connections that shape vibrant communities.

As the founder of Umi Organic, a beloved Portland noodle company, Milholland is known for her passion for food justice, sustainable food systems, and expanding access to nutritious meals. This passion intertwines with her belief in the power of community. “When we cook for each other, we’re telling layered stories about our identities,” she says. “And when we eat what someone else has cooked—or cook at their side—our lives become entangled.”

Three Ways to Be More Generous and Create a Positive Community Culture

For many students at the University of Portland, shared meals and close quarters are foundational parts of college life. But community living—whether in a residence hall, campus apartment, or off-campus house—comes with its own challenges.

Milholland, who has lived in community since her college years, has developed practical insights that have shaped her approach to meaningful shared living. As we enter the season of giving and gratitude, she offers encouragement and strategies for cultivating generosity in everyday life, especially within shared households:

  • Step One: Start with Small Acts of Kindness
    It’s easy to think of generosity as something grand, but Milholland emphasizes the value of small gestures. Acts like doing a load of laundry or giving someone a ride to the airport can have big impacts. “It’s easier to find the small ways to be generous when you’re present and attentive to the people around you,” she says. “You may notice that someone is having a really busy week and offer to do their laundry or grab some groceries. You may have a friend who is short on money and take them out for a bite to eat. I believe the opportunities for showing up in small and meaningful ways will present themselves if you’re paying mutual attention to each other.”
  • Step Two: Focus on What You Like Best
    Dividing household tasks is often one of the biggest hurdles in shared living situations. Milholland suggests leaning into the tasks you naturally enjoy or don’t mind doing. For her, two of those tasks are sweeping and cleaning the fridge. “Sweeping is a very small thing, but I don’t feel resentful if others don’t sweep, and I feel a sense of accomplishment when I do,” Milholland says. “Are there things like that for you? It’s a question worth asking!” Playing to your strengths helps reduce tension and builds a more positive household culture—something especially valuable in multi-resident homes.
  • Step Three: Create Regular Opportunities for Giving and Receiving
    Creating meaningful routines can foster a positive shared environment. Milholland explains that not all routines need to be tied to chores. Instead, shared activities help build connection over time. “Walks are also great. A game of basketball. A trivia night. Things that have some frequency and repetition and allow you to check in and see each other change over time,” she says. “I think communities gain oxygen when there are lots of opportunities to give and receive.” And, of course, shared meals remain central. “Sometimes, not everyone can show up equally, but as long as no one hoards and everyone contributes, the culture grows. I like to say that generosity likes to multiply.”
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