Most freshmen don't choose their roommate, and even if they do, conflicts are bound to occur at some point during the year. So how do you handle it when your roommate is up at 6 a.m. doing calisthenics while you're just heading to bed after a late-night study session? The solution to any roommate conflict is good communication. And talking about your similarities and differences in advance can help to head off future problems.
You don't have to be best friends with your roommate, but getting along with them, and respecting each other's personal space, ideas, and backgrounds can certainly make the year pass more quickly. Here are some ideas for getting to know your roommate.
Talk to your roommate about your:
Personal Background
Preferences, Habits, and Characteristics
Emotional Style
Reactions to Each Other
Remember that throughout the year, your values, habits, likes, and dislikes might begin to change. The key to a good roommate relationship is honest, open, and frequent conversation. Don't let problems fester. Discuss them, listen to your roommate's viewpoint, and work on a solution.
Tell your roommate about your family, your high school, your friends, and what it was like growing up. Try to express your feelings - not just the bare facts. Some conversation starters:
Maybe you're a night owl and your roommate is a morning person. Or you're the messy one driving your neat roommate nuts. In any relationship there are bound to be differences - as well as similarities. You might as well get them out in the open now. If you have a good idea of the areas where you might conflict, you can try to make compromises right from the start. Some conversation starters:
The way you experience and express your feelings can affect how easy it is for others to get along with you. Do you pout when things don't go your way? Do you put on a happy face no matter what? When you're sad do you need to be alone? Or do you like to talk it out? Responding honestly to these conversation starters can make understanding and responding to each other much easier in the months ahead:
If you've talked with your roommate about your background, personal characteristics, and emotional style, you may think you know everything about him or her. Are you sure? Try responding to these questions with one another to make sure you're both on the same page:
University of Portland
5000 N. Willamette Blvd.,
Portland, Oregon 97203-5798
503.943.8000
This website uses cookies to track information for analytics purposes. You can view the full University of Portland privacy policy for more information.
