Lt. Col. Nicholas Cowan, USAF

Assistant Professor of Air & Space Studies, AFROTC Detachment 695, University of Portland

2021 was an extraordinary year to learn about care. On top of the raging pandemic, my wife was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer out of the blue just before Thanksgiving 2020. Thousands of miles from home at perhaps the peak of both of our military careers with two young children, our lives were upended.

My year began with an incredible showing of professional grace when four echelons of military command bent over backwards to transfer me eighteen months early. They found an Air Force ROTC position allowing my family to move home to Portland while we figured our life out. They could have said no. There were cancer centers on the East Coast. We were obligated to serve. Instead, my leadership cared. Taking care of my family meant absorbing a vacancy, allowing us time to heal, and providing me a way to continue serving and they have held the door open for when I am ready to return.

On a personal level, the outpouring of support was often overwhelming. Family, friends, colleagues, and medical staff all reached out and often in waves that seemed to crash against me simultaneously. Text messages went unanswered, phone calls were not returned, and social media was untended. I learned that the best part about those who truly care is that they do not do it for vanity or accolades. They were there for me when I needed them even if it meant a delay. Care manifested itself through conversations, food deliveries, activities for the kids, breaks for my wife and I, and simply being present.

I do not know where 2022 will take us, but I do know that I will enter that unknown surrounded by those who care.